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This post is actually hard for me sit down and write to be quite honest. Having to put this into words has been one heck of a task.
A lot has happened in the last several years with having two babies, moving into a new house, quitting the corporate day job, starting a blog, and a small Etsy shop. It’s overwhelming. It’s a LOT. And with zero family around to help, all of it just falls on me and the hubs. And I think, in March, it all fell apart and I’d hit bottom. I was in a bad place. A very dark place, where I was extremely unhappy. I was lost, felt like everything was slipping through my fingers, constantly feeling like a failure, and honestly felt that everything was unraveling. My husband had gotten busier with work, and I truly felt as though I just couldn’t do anything anymore. I had become snappier to friends, family, and my children. There was this negative cloud around me all the time, and it made me feel awful. I was exuding negativity, and I knew that I didn’t want to be that person.
I knew I had to make changes. Lots of different changes to getting back to a place of joy. I say joy because happiness can be fleeting, but joy is eternal. And I was craving for it. I needed it. I wanted to be a better mom, a better wife, and a better person in general.
I started narrowing down all the things I could change in my life, and I knew that I wanted to start eating healthier to get myself more energy and in a more fit place. After two kids, I wasn’t exactly happy about my weight, so I knew that was something I wanted to focus on since I spent so much time dwelling on the fact that I didn’t feel great in my clothes. I also knew a BIG thing I wanted to do for myself was to go back to work. I was craving some adult interaction, and wanted to be back in the workforce after being out of it for nearly 4 years. I was ready, and it was time.
So I said yes. I said yes to it all.
I decided it was time for me to do something. I started with habits I could make changes to immediately, and that included exercise and food. I made some serious eating habit changes, and have drastically seen a difference in the last 5-6 months in how clothes fit me and how it makes me feel. Eating right is so very important and through it, I’ve also seen improvements of how my husband and my kids eat. I also started to make an effort to take a walk, be outside with my kids more, ride a bike, or have as many dance parties as possible at home to get my body moving and away from being completely lethargic.
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Next on the list was finding a job. I said yes to applying blindly on Indeed and Monster and putting myself out there again, and dealing with the whole enchilada. Interviews, preparation, studying, etc. I was going to be confident and make myself happy. And about 4 months in, I landed a gig! It was amazing to see myself accomplish a goal, and soar after putting my mind to it. Having the support of my husband was everything and it played such an important piece, but not nearly as important as realizing how much I needed to do this for ME. How much I needed to say yes to myself. Self care as parents can easily be forgotten as we dedicate so much of ourselves to our tiny humans, husbands, significant others, family, and friends. I realized that it was time to take a step back and analyze why I was so unhappy, and I’m so thankful I did.
I’ve now been working for nearly 3 months, and while being a working mother has it’s own challenges, I’m much more content with the decisions I’ve made! I’m still blogging of course cuz I love this space of mine too much to leave it! I feel motivated, happier, and don’t feel like a negative nancy each day which is a huge improvement in my books. Finding joy is important for each and every one. Find your “yes” moment. It’s important to give to others, but don’t forget yourself in the process. I’m realizing it’s ok to be a little selfish, and do things that also bring joy to me because in turn, I’m able to spread the positivity. And that to me, is winning and succeeding.
Do you have a “yes” moment? Are you willing to search within to see if you need a “yes” moment?? Dig deep. You never know what you may need until you start asking yourself!