I feel like I used to look forward to Fridays. They were exciting. And now I feel exhausted by the time Friday really rolls around. Friday is actually my hardest day. A week’s worth of two kids at home, wanting me for 12 hours constantly. Making snacks. Making meals. Folding laundry. Putting away laundry, because let’s face it sometimes putting it away right after you fold it isn’t a reality. At least not around here. Changing diapers nonstop. Dishes. Playdates. Park runs. Target runs. Groceries. Loading kids in and out of the car…yes, that’s a task. If you have two or more, you know what I’m talking about. Especially when you strap one in and the other one is pooping. #killmenow
I’m. Just. Burnt. Out.
I realize that I’m blessed in many ways to have the life I do, but that doesn’t make it any less hard. I’m always getting told by others that I should be thankful for everything I have. Don’t get me wrong. I am extremely grateful for this beautiful bubble I live in, but let’s call a spade a spade. It’s SHIT HARD.
I know that when I’m snapping at my kids or at my husband, I’m burnt out. When I’m running out of patience quickly and seem agitated. I’m burnt out.
When I’m tired to the max and fall asleep so hard, I’m burnt out. When I start to skimp on mom life and start to water it down. You know, when I’m normally used to making my kids three meals and instead I start feeding them snacks or takeout as meals. Hello chick-fil-a, again.
If you read my blog, I know you’ve heard me say a billion times that the motherhood gig is no cakewalk. The daily routine is downright tough. It sucks up our energy in every which way possible. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
We become deranged mothers, who are desperate to just get some caffeine slammed into our bodies. We grunt and bark at our families and fling ourselves into a pantry and close the door to take that sip of wine away from the blood curdling screams, because you stuck that piece of bread in the toaster because your kid wanted toast. You bad mother you.
And you feel guilty. You feel like a giant failure, and it’s because you’re BURNT OUT.
I know we all want to be that cheery spot of sunshine with fairy dust and unicorns coming out of our asses for everyone, but it’s just not possible. We cannot always have the right words, the calmness, the patience, the perfect Pinterest home. We cannot always be gentle, and have the soft touch that our kids need. It’s because we are burnt out.
Think you’re the only one? I’m here to tell you that you’re not.
We are all imperfectly perfect. We are all flawed. The struggle is real for all of us and nobody, yes NOBODY has it all together. I promise.
Some of us are really good at lying. Some of us are great at hiding things in cabinets when you come over so you think their home is immaculate 24/7. Some of us are just chugging wine at 10 AM to stay above water. Some of us would die laughing if anybody ever thought that we were the chosen ones that have it all together.
Mothers compare themselves to one another. We get lost and distracted by our insecurities. That competitive streak that lives deep inside comes out and turns us into monsters.
So from one mama to another. Listen up.
It’s OK. You are AWESOME. Quit comparing yourself to any other mama out there. Your kids love you no matter what. You are enough and you only need to measure up to yourself. (I’m consistently working on this one for myself! It’s tough!) Take time for yourself. Don’t say yes to everything. Slow down. Read a book or magazine. Go to bed early. Pick up a hobby that you love. Get a workout in. Slow down. Clear some weekends and don’t go to every birthday party. Turn off Insta/Facebook and stop thinking that those moms with perfect kids don’t have messy houses. #itsallfiltered
Set simple goals. Quit competing.
Give yourself some grace and compassion. It’s the first step towards being a little less burnt out.
A burnt out mother trying to be less burnt out.
Hi Alfa! I found your blog through the Austin Moms blog, and I've run into you at the library story time a few times. 😉 Thanks so much for the honesty in this post. You are so right, it's easy to compare ourselves to other moms and constantly feel like we can't keep up. I only have one kiddo and even now it's tough, I look at moms who have more kids and they seem to be so much more put together than me and I feel like I'm failing. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who gets frustrated and feels burnt out. I would never look down at another mom for being less than perfect and I need to give myself the same grace! Thanks for keeping it real and reminding the rest of us to do the same.
Great post girl. A to the men.
I can relate to this entirely. Loved it.
I often believe that we Moms are one of kind during the child raising years. The lack of focus, sleep, me time allows us to really learn what it's like to run on fumes. But as you know, it's so worth it. I couldn't imagine having someone more amazing than my son to be burned out on.
Yes, yes, yes. I feel burned out almost daily, and I only have one child so far! Thanks for keeping it real, mama. Love it.